Solo parents, I take my hat off to you. You are incredible. You deserve government rebates, discounted childcare and shorter working hours. You deserve all the help you can get cause oh my GOODNESS my one week of parenting on my own was hands down one of the hardest weeks if not THE hardest week of my Mumma life. And yes, I realise that I’m complaining about just one week, I realise there are many parents in way worse situations than me and I realise as I start to write this, that it all seems a little bit OTT and dramatic. But you know what? For me, it was REALLY hard!
B left on Monday morning and I started my week by doing drop off at daycare, a full day at work, daycare pick up, did the dinner and evening routine on my own, got organised for the next day, ate dinner (even I was impressed at this one!) cleaned up and eventually sat down for a bit of down time. And then H woke up. He’s usually an excellent sleeper so this was a bit odd for him. It took ages for me to settle him and he woke again during the night which was tough when I then had to adult at work the next day!
Tuesday evening we were at my parents house where I put him down to bed so I could enjoy some adult time with Mum and Dad. H woke up. Frequently. To the point that we had to leave early and I put him down at home – where he woke during the night. Wednesday we were meant to have dinner at my sister’s place but again, H was really unsettled and cranky so I skipped dinner, brought him home and had another rough night.
Each night was the same – lots of grumpy baby in the evenings, unsettled sleeps, late-night waking and to be honest, I’m not actually sure how I still managed to function. When B walked in the door late Friday night, I just burst into tears – the poor guy! I was just so relieved he was home and I didn’t have to deal with everything on my own.
Looking back at what I’ve written above, it doesn’t even sound that bad but for me, it was so, so hard. Having a sick baby is hard. Having to work full time is hard. Keeping a functioning house going is hard. Spending my precious weekends searching for a house is hard (oh my gosh, how ‘first world problem’ is that?! Poor me!) And I’m still not getting any real ‘me’ time, ‘us’ time or family and friends time in – I feel like I’m being a rubbish friend cause I’m never available to catch up! Plus I don’t feel like I’m giving as much as I should at work either!
Part of me didn’t want to post this blog. It sounds like a great big whinge (which it totally is) that would cause a whole lot of eye rolls and ‘it’s really not that bad’ comments. And I know all this and totally recognise that in the big scheme of things, I really have NOTHING to complain about. I am well aware of how many people would love to be in my position and I should really just count my blessings and suck it up. But that’s not my style. I’m not one to bottle it up or pretend everything is amazing when it’s not. That’s what my blog is for – a place to rant, a place to get it out cause that’s how I deal with my emotions and move on.
The week B got back was better – H was feeling a lot better but still has a snotty nose – has done for months on end, seriously, does it ever end?! He’s also teething and has nappy rash AND conjunctivitis – gaaaahhh!! Seeing him unwell and sad is heartbreaking. I know it’s daycare germs and everyone goes through it but it seriously, SERIOUSLY sucks. February has not been my favourite month so far, and we’re only 12 days in! B goes away two more times in the coming weeks so I’m bracing myself for solo parenting again. Can’t say I’m really looking forward to it so if anyone has any advice on how to not lose my sanity, I’m all ears!
Thanks for reading and understanding that everyone needs a rant every now and then. Hopefully my next blog post will be a bit more positive, happy and sunshiny!!